A letter a day to number 10. No 1,448

Sunday 29 May 2016.

Dear Mr Cameron,

So far the Tory referendum campaigns have been a lesson in Gove’s education for idiots. Asked an open question, there is only one right answer and there’s Armageddon, which is chosen by really stupid people. And this from both camps. If you don’t want straight bananas, vote out, if you want to avoid WWIII, vote stay.

This is Mickey Mouse politics and debate engaged in and delivered by malicious fools. Choose wrong and the penalty is personal shame and humiliation, not to mention the aforementioned Armageddon.

On a visit to hospital this week my Oncologist asked me about the referendum, saying he had no idea which way to vote. I responded that I wasn’t surprised, if you listen to what’s been proffered so far, dominated by the utter nonsense from you Tories, no one could possibly make a reasoned decision. I did say to him that the one thing we can be certain of is that whichever way it goes, we’ll survive. We’ll do what we always do, we’ll get on with life.

With just under a month to go, I am sure that the debate will navigate as yet uncharted reaches of stupidity, nonsense, fear mongering and patronising bullshit with sneering disdain for the people who are expected to vote for something that actually has any meaning.

To my mind we could do a lot worse than mount a set of stocks in Downing Street where idiot politicians could be locked for rough justice, subject to public humiliation and ridicule. It’s the least you all deserve for mocking us with your facile infighting and equally facile arguments.

This is music hall politics, lacking only the booing, over ripe tomatoes and rotten eggs. ‘I say, I say, I say, did you hear the one about the in out referendum?’ ‘Yes, the undecided have the most fun but should always play safe and wear a condom.’

Like politics today, it’s a bad joke. I hope you are all very proud of yourselves.