Archives for posts with tag: WWIII


A letter a day to number 10. No 1,495

Sunday 17 July 2016.

Dear Mrs May,

I was unable to write to you yesterday because I had to rush my niece into hospital. An intrusion of real life as against, say, the world of career politicians like ‘Lord’ David Freud, he of the asinine presumption that, “people who are poorer should be prepared to take the biggest risks” as they have “the least to lose”.

My niece and I were passing the time discussing politics, the coup in Turkey, Britain sending troops to the Eastern borders of Russia and Putin warning that the West are pushing us towards WWIII, stuff like that. It wasn’t a long or complicated conversation as my niece was busy being poorly, it was really just a comment on the lives and concerns of us ordinary folk trying to get on, and the world of the elites who have the exclusive power to make such an appalling mess of things and make wars in particular.

The world is bonkers and it seems the greatest escalation right now is in bonkersness. I told my niece she was in the right place if you all manage to trigger another world war and she asked me how I managed to work that out.

I pointed out that she was in a hospital and in conflicts (traditionally) hospitals have special status and paint big red crosses on their buildings and have backup generators and the like to protect the ailing, the sick and wounded from being bombed while the rest of the population is fair game to be bombed to kingdom come. Once nurtured back to health, of course, patients can be discharged to fight or face the bombs once again, although it’s a bit unfortunate if you get discharged only to discover that, in your absence, your home has been turned into a potential fishing pond, once someone eventually wins the damned war.

You can see where Freud gets his ideas from, because, of course, poor people are a prime target for recruitment into the armed forces and fighting the wars that governments create.

Now we’ve got BoJo the clown as foreign minister we can probably all look forward to another lovely world war and being super patriotic and having a great time of it singing great war winning songs and cussing the enemy who, as we all know, eat babies for breakfast. Cameron will be able to say, ‘I warned you WWIII would happen if you voted Brexit’. How we’ll laugh.



A letter a day to number 10. No 1,460

Friday 10 June 2016.

Dear Mr Cameron,

I am amazed at all the sound and fury that’s kicked off over the EU referendum, admittedly a lot of it is piss and wind, but regardless of that, where’s it all been hiding in six long tooth grinding years of Tory misrule?

Suddenly there are political pundits everywhere, it’s wearing me out. It’s a kind of keyboard Armageddon, a prelude to the forthcoming actual Armageddon when we’re either in or out of the EU. If we leave we are, seemingly, going to lose the skills brought by foreign workers who have been a mainstay of our NHS since its inception, which was 25 years before we joined the European Community. If we stay we’ll be eating straight bananas, forever. Shurely shomething is wrong.

Little chubby cheeked Mikey wants us to break out the bunting and dodgy Dave (cooee) wants to save us from WWIII and let’s not forget (risqué sexist warning for anyone who feels they are missing that little extra something to lose their mind over) priti priti who wants to ensure our penal labour servitude forever.

In or out, it seems that Britain has become a toothless hag which must either be propped up by an EU zimmer frame or gird up its timorous loins and learn to fend for itself for the first time ever, in history, ever, once again. The big money is so terrified of the senile old ding bat, it’s running for the hills. ‘Don’t worry,’ I want to tell these scaredy fat cats, ‘the city of London will still be a fantastically corrupt global tax haven in which to stash your unearned cash. We’ve still got dodgy Dave (cooee2) and gorgeous George at the helm, they will always wuv you.’ (Cue – Whitney)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, as they say, the race to the bottom continues for the good folks of Britain, the great unwashed, the ordinary skivers, scroungers, strivers, low paid, no paid, Workfare plagued, Motability denied, pick up your wheelchair and work, halt and lame, pensions robbed, welfare denied, useless eating public. And that’s not to mention the destruction and privatisation of our NHS and George’s wholesale asset stripping of all the good things we’ve built and paid for and maintained so well, that are worth a bob or two, enough to flog off to his city mates on the cheap. Sorry, I’ve been and gone and done mentioned them, haven’t I?

Where are all the Armagedd-heads when you need them? Where is all the spit and rage when you really need it? Can we have an independent inquiry into whether Britain is the most bonkers nation in the world? Is it down to global warming because you know what they say about the midday sun, Englishmen and mad dogs. Anyway, I’m off for a nice cup of tea and to give myself a heave ho in the sock department, ups my daisy and have a bit of there there, dear. Toodle pip for now.

Investors take billions from UK economy amid fears of Brexit and a fall in value of the pound


A letter a day to number 10. No 1,448

Sunday 29 May 2016.

Dear Mr Cameron,

So far the Tory referendum campaigns have been a lesson in Gove’s education for idiots. Asked an open question, there is only one right answer and there’s Armageddon, which is chosen by really stupid people. And this from both camps. If you don’t want straight bananas, vote out, if you want to avoid WWIII, vote stay.

This is Mickey Mouse politics and debate engaged in and delivered by malicious fools. Choose wrong and the penalty is personal shame and humiliation, not to mention the aforementioned Armageddon.

On a visit to hospital this week my Oncologist asked me about the referendum, saying he had no idea which way to vote. I responded that I wasn’t surprised, if you listen to what’s been proffered so far, dominated by the utter nonsense from you Tories, no one could possibly make a reasoned decision. I did say to him that the one thing we can be certain of is that whichever way it goes, we’ll survive. We’ll do what we always do, we’ll get on with life.

With just under a month to go, I am sure that the debate will navigate as yet uncharted reaches of stupidity, nonsense, fear mongering and patronising bullshit with sneering disdain for the people who are expected to vote for something that actually has any meaning.

To my mind we could do a lot worse than mount a set of stocks in Downing Street where idiot politicians could be locked for rough justice, subject to public humiliation and ridicule. It’s the least you all deserve for mocking us with your facile infighting and equally facile arguments.

This is music hall politics, lacking only the booing, over ripe tomatoes and rotten eggs. ‘I say, I say, I say, did you hear the one about the in out referendum?’ ‘Yes, the undecided have the most fun but should always play safe and wear a condom.’

Like politics today, it’s a bad joke. I hope you are all very proud of yourselves.



A letter a day to number 10. No 1,430

Wednesday 11 May 2016.

Dear Mr Cameron,

I’m mindful of the old Chinese curse, ‘may you live in interesting times’, and here we are. Poor old Britain is in a parlous state as is the government which purports to run her.

You really are staggering from one catastrophe to the next. Stephen Crabb is setting us up for the next cull of the poor by starving them, or ‘changing things for the better’, as he puts it. Nicky Morgan is doing a seeming U-turn, but she’ll just continue to destabilise schools until they have no choice but to become academies. Jeremy Hunt is in a class of his own, siphoning the life blood from our NHS and privatising everything he can lay his filthy hands on. He also continues to believe he’s right about the ‘weekend effect’, whilst nothing of the sort exists.

We’ve got the ridiculous spectacle of your party wrestling in the mud and filth over Europe and Katie Hopkins threatening to run down Regent Street stark naked with a sausage up her rear end. She Tweeted that she is actually going to do it, saying, “I am a woman of my word”, true that, usually pure filth.  Class, real class.

I’m not sure where George is, he’s been pretty quiet lately. His long term economic plan seems to have everything but any kind of actual plan about it, unless, like everything your government does, a punitive disaster of an economy is the plan. Is he in rehab?

During a speech in London Iain Duncan Smith claimed, “The EU has become a force for social injustice. The EU isn’t working for over-regulated small businesses, and lower-paid Britons”, leading Lord Cashman to Tweet, “Ian Duncan Smith as the fairy God mother to the poor staggers into the realms of the berserk & deranged.” I have nothing to add to that.

And then there’s you winding us up with the spectre of WWIII. My god, it’s all looking peachy.

Saving the best till last though, ITV4 reports you being overheard telling her Maj, at a bash to mark her 90th birthday, there are some “fantastically corrupt” countries coming to the UK anti-corruption summit on Thursday. It says much for her robust good health that the Queen didn’t die laughing given that you are hosting the event.



A letter a day to number 10. No 1,429

Tuesday 10 May 2016.

Dear Mr Cameron,

How dare you evoke the spectre of a European wide conflict if the electorate vote Brexit in the up coming referendum. WWIII isn’t some ideological football to be kicked about to suit your political agenda.

Let me be very clear about this, over 60 million people died in WWII, some 3% of the then world population. Of course such numbers are approximations in the appalling catastrophe of war, a catastrophe caused by politicians. Ordinary people do not declare or make war, that is the exclusive province of politicians, but ordinary people are expected to fight them and pay the ultimate price for the failure of those in power to prevent the insanity of war.

Let’s not forget either that WWI was described as ‘The War to End all Wars’ and ‘The Great War’, fatuous and obscene misnomers as ever there were.

Your raising such a spectre is an insult to every woman, man and child whose lives were so extravagantly spent in the six long years of WWII, but that is nothing like the whole story, the 20th century was a century of almost continuous war, at an estimated cost of 187 million lives. And what has changed, Mr Cameron? You trumpet out war like plucking a game of Monopoly off the shelf. It’s obscene!

Post WWII was a time of hope and optimism, it saw the founding of our great NHS and the welfare state and a nationwide social housing programme, everything that you are now working to unravel and privatise. Today, many of those who served in the armed forces come back to a life of insecurity and lack of support. In 2013 there were reportedly 9,000 homeless ex-service personnel. Ask not what you’ve done for your country, ask what your country is doing for you, eh?

You are an abject failure, trumpeting out meaningless nonsense to suit your political ends. It is your government that wants to do away with our Human Rights which Britain was so instrumental in formulating after WWII. The question isn’t about yet more conflict, the question is when will we have peace? Because politicians seem to be entirely incapable of such a thing and, indeed, revel in tub thumping, flag waving, patriotic clap trap as if war is some heroic achievement. It is not.

Perhaps war will never end until we, the people, tell politicians to go and fight their own bloody wars and leave the rest of us to get on with living. Or is that too extremist for your delicate oafish sensibilities?